Essay Feedback: UFO Summary and Review

For Lily Hale · ENGL 1010, Prof. Hansen · reviewed October 5, 2026

C-
holistic, about 70%
The short version. Your summary is the strongest part: clear, in order, and accurate in its main moves. The grade is held down because the assignment is mostly about the review, and the review is the thinnest part of the paper. Fixing that is worth more than anything else you can do.

No rubric was available, so this is a quality read against the assignment description itself (summary, review with reader response plus one more method, tailored recommendation, MLA). If you have the rubric, send it over and I'll re-read against it.

Where your words went vs. what the assignment asks
Summary 67%
Review 13%
Rec. 20%
Your paper (about 590 words)
Summary: 40-50% at most
Review: 50-60% at least
What the assignment asks for. The recommendation is one conclusion paragraph that sits inside the review share.
Do these in order
  1. Trim the summary from three paragraphs to two (paragraphs 1-3 below).
  2. Add a Reader Response paragraph (required). The red box after paragraph 3 shows where.
  3. Add a second review paragraph: genre criteria or argument evaluation (orange box).
  4. Rebuild the conclusion around what your peer reviewers said.
  5. Fix the MLA citations and the handful of sentence errors marked in blue and purple.
Red: missing review work Orange: summary too long / too vague Blue: citations (MLA) Purple: sentence errors and word choice

Your essay is on the left, exactly as you wrote it. The colored highlights mark the spots. The note next to each one tells you what to change and shows a model to follow. Models use a different topic on purpose, so you copy the shape, not the words.

Your essay, marked up

Lily Hale
Prof. Dylan Hansen
ENGL 1010
October 5th, 2026

The History of UFOs and Government Investigations: A Summary and Review

Heading

Looks right. One small check: your header should match the MLA sample in your textbook (name, instructor, course, date on separate lines, double-spaced). Yours does.

The text gave a very detailed history of UFO sightings and how the government responded in the United States as well as internationally from World War II to the present. It shows that although we’ve never actually officially confirmed extraterrestrial life. UFOs have captured the public imagination1 and prompted the government to investigate them. It's very interesting because it shows a balance between keeping things secret, studying things scientifically, and also responding to public curiosity and concerns.2

1 · Sentence fragment

"Although we’ve never actually officially confirmed extraterrestrial life." can't stand alone as a sentence, because "although" leaves the thought unfinished.

Which two pieces should be joined into one sentence?

Model (different topic)Fragment: "Although most students sleep less than eight hours. Grades keep slipping."
Fixed: "Although most students sleep less than eight hours, the article shows that grades are what suffer first."

Also: "actually officially" is two filler words. Keep one, or cut both.

2 · "Very interesting" is a label, not a response

This is your only reaction to the article, and it says nothing about you or about what the article does. Move your real reaction into its own paragraph (see the red box below), and use this spot to state what the article claims.

What is the article's single main point, in one sentence a classmate could repeat?

Model opening (different topic)"In 'Later School Start Times,' Smith argues that moving the first bell past 8:30 a.m. improves both attendance and grades, but she admits the evidence is strongest for older teens."

Paragraph job

Paragraphs 1, 2 and 3 together are about two-thirds of your paper. Merge them into two paragraphs total: one for what the article covers and one for its main ideas. Keep only the turning points.

The modern UFO era began in 1942 during World War II, when pilots kept reporting seeing weird3, unnatural lights in the sky called “foo fighters.” At first, the military for the most part ignored them. However, in 1947, more than 850 UFOs were reported to be seen in the United States, which eventually led the Air Force to start Project Sign in 1948. This eventually became Project Grudge, and then became Project Blue Book in 1952; “when the object is positively identified as a familiar object.”4 For those “which are not explainable,” the military would only disclose that they would “analyze the data” — effectively keeping details of many sightings classified. (UFOs CQ researcher), All5 of these projects focused on figuring out if UFOs were a threat. Around this same time, retired Major Donald Keyhoe wrote several articles claiming the government was covering up UFO sightings, which made the public increasingly interested. In the 1960s, the astronomer J. Allen Hynek helped the Air Force study UFOs.6 A 1968-69 study conducted at the University of Colorado, led by Edward Condon, found that further government investigations really weren't very useful, which led to Project Blue Book being shut down.

3 · Word choice

"Weird" is casual. What does the article actually call these lights, and what makes them unusual to a pilot?

Model"unexplained"; "unidentified"; "lights that moved in ways pilots could not account for."

4 · Quote doesn't connect

The quoted fragment "when the object is positively identified..." is attached to the end of a sentence about Project Blue Book's dates, and it doesn't make sense on its own. Quotes need a lead-in that says who said it, and a page number.

Who is this quote about, and what does it say they do? Find the page it's on.

Model quote patternSmith explains that a district would only change the schedule "when attendance drops below 90 percent" (6).   (lead-in + quote + page number, period after the parenthesis)

5 · MLA parenthetical

"(UFOs CQ researcher)" isn't MLA form, it lands in the middle of a sentence, and it's followed by a stray comma that breaks "All of these projects." MLA wants the author's last name and a page number, placed at the end of the sentence you borrowed from.

Whose idea is the sentence before it? What page is it on?

Model"...effectively keeping details of many sightings classified (Jaffe 7). All of these projects focused on figuring out if UFOs were a threat."
Use the real page number from your copy. Every quote and every paraphrased fact should carry a cite.

6 · Cut or compress

Keyhoe and Hynek are two names that don't carry your argument. The weaker the connection to your main idea, the more likely it should go.

If you cut this sentence, would your reader still understand how Blue Book ended?

Compression model (different topic)Long: "In 2015 the district formed a committee. In 2016 it hired a consultant. In 2017 the consultant issued a report."
Short: "Between 2015 and 2017, the district studied the problem through a committee and a consultant's report."

Even when the U.S. began halting efforts, other countries continued to look for UFOs. In the 1970’s, Soviet and French scientists investigated UFO sightings, and in the 1980s and 1990s, had major public debates7 and sightings that could not be explained in places like France and Belgium. In the 2000s, the Pentagon resumed researching UFOs, but this time with the Advanced Aerospace Threat Identification Program, and then later the Navy updated its reporting rules. By the year 2023, there were around 800 UFO (or more recently called UAPs) sightings from military personnel. Congress and NASA have also become involved, showing that UFOs are still very much relevant.8

7 · Missing subject

"...and, in the 1980s and 1990s, had major public debates" has a verb with no subject. Who had the debates?

Who is the subject of "had major public debates"?

Model"Soviet and French scientists investigated sightings in the 1970s, and in the 1980s and 1990s France and Belgium saw major public debates over sightings that could not be explained."   Also: the plural of a decade has no apostrophe ("1970s", not "1970’s").

8 · Four facts, no point

These sentences list facts (AATIP, the Navy, 800 sightings, Congress and NASA), but none says why they matter. The last sentence, "still very much relevant," is the only interpretation, and it is vague. Every fact needs a page cite too.

What is the one idea these four facts add up to? Say it in one sentence, then keep only the facts that support it.

Model"By the 2000s, the topic had moved from rumor to official policy: the Pentagon created a dedicated program and Congress began requesting reports (Smith 11)."
ADD A NEW PARAGRAPH HERE

Reader Response (required)

This is the missing piece. Right now your paper never says what you thought, felt, assumed or doubted while reading.

Build it in four moves:

  1. What you expected before you started reading.
  2. One specific moment in the article that surprised, challenged or bored you, with a page cite.
  3. Your reaction and why, in your own voice ("I assumed... but...").
  4. What you still wanted from the article.

Aim for 5-7 sentences.

Model paragraph (different topic, copy the shape)

"Going in, I expected 'Later School Start Times' to lean on tired-teenager stories, so I was surprised when Smith opens with a study of 9,000 students (4). That one detail changed how I read the rest, because I could not write the topic off as complaining. I grew up waking at 5:45 a.m. and always assumed the grogginess was my own fault, and Smith's data made me rethink that. Still, I wanted to hear from a principal who disagrees, because every voice in the article agrees with her."

What did you expect the UFO article to be? Which moment surprised or challenged that?

Starter phrases: "I expected... but..." · "What stuck with me was..." · "I was surprised that..." · "I still wanted to know..."

The text does a really good job of showing how the public fascination, science, and government investigations all interact, even to this day. It’s packed full of details and timelines, making it super easy to see how things changed over time.9 The one downside to the text is that it is quite dense, so something like a visual timeline would make it significantly easier to understand and follow.

9 · This is your whole review, in about 75 words

"Really good job," "super easy," and "quite dense" are opinions without evidence. A review has to show why. Right now this paragraph is mostly praise.

What specific passage proves the article is "packed full of details"? Where, exactly, was it dense?

Replace this paragraph with the genre or argument paragraph in the orange box below. You can keep your visual-timeline idea as one sentence inside it.

ADD / REPLACE WITH THIS PARAGRAPH

Genre Criteria or Argument Evaluation

You need at least one more method beyond reader response, with its own paragraph. For this article, genre criteria is the easier choice, because it is a reference overview (CQ Press), not a persuasive piece.

  1. Name the genre. "This is a reference overview written to inform, not persuade."
  2. Pick 2-3 criteria that genre should meet: balanced sources, clear definitions, current information, easy to navigate.
  3. Judge each one with evidence from the article and a page cite.
  4. End with a verdict on whether it meets the genre standard.

Prefer argument evaluation? Ask: what is the article claiming, what evidence supports it, and where is the evidence weak or one-sided?

Model paragraph (different topic)

"As a reference overview, 'Later School Start Times' should be balanced, current and easy to navigate. It meets the last standard: short headings and a timeline box let me find the 2014 policy change in seconds (5). It is less successful on balance. All six sources are researchers who favor the change, and the only opposing view is a one-sentence mention of bus costs (9). Because a reference article is supposed to represent every side, that gap lowers its value, even though its facts are current."

What criteria matter for a CQ reference overview? Does Jaffe quote both skeptics and believers? Does the article use recent sources? Where was it dense, and what page was that on?

I would definitely recommend this article if you are looking for a solid overview of UFO’s and how the different governments have reacted and responded to sightings over time.10 It also gives a lot of good historical details, and it explains how the different investigations developed, especially in the United States. The text shows how scientific research, public curiosity, and government secrecy have all played a significant role in shaping the way UFOs are studied and also talked about today. Overall, this article was a very helpful source for anyone interested in learning the history of UFOs and why the topic is still discussed today.11

10 · Not tailored to your peer reviewers

The assignment asks you to tailor the recommendation to your peer reviewers, using their reactions to your draft. This one could be written to anyone. Also, "UFO’s" should be "UFOs" (plural, no apostrophe).

What did your peer reviewers say? Which of them would get the most from this article, and which should skip it?

Model conclusion (different topic)"Group, when you read my draft, several of you said you wanted to know how teachers feel about the schedule change. Smith's article will not answer that, so if that is your focus, skip it. But if, like Marcus and Priya, you care most about the research behind attendance and grades, this is worth thirty minutes."

11 · These two sentences repeat your summary

A conclusion should land your verdict, not re-tell the article. The last two sentences restate what you already covered in paragraph 1.

What is the one reason you'd give a classmate for reading, or skipping, this article? Put that reason last and cut the rest.

Work Cited

Jaffe, A. (2024). UFOs. CQ Press. https://doi.org/10.4135/cqresrre2024022312

12 · Works Cited

Two fixes: the heading is "Works Cited" (plural), and the entry is in APA style (date in parentheses after the author), not MLA.

What is the author's full first name, the exact article title, the publication it's from, and the date? Check the "cite" button on the article page.

MLA patternLast, First. "Title of Article." Name of Publication, Publisher, Day Month Year, URL.
Hanging indent: first line flush left, later lines indented. Pull the exact details from the database; don't guess the date or title.

What to keep

Bottom line

Cut the summary to two paragraphs and write the Reader Response paragraph. That one move fixes the missing required piece and puts the paper back inside the 50-60% review share. Then add the genre paragraph and rebuild the conclusion, and the paper will meet what the assignment asks for.

Questions about any of this? Send the revision back for a second look.